Child Sex Crimes: the Cause that we don't Protest

 

    We were always taught as kids to be aware of stranger danger, but did you that about 93 percent of children who are victims of sexual abuse know their abusers?(ywca.org). The sad thing is sexual abuse has gotten even worse and easier to hide with this whole pandemic thing.  I don't know about you, but this makes me sick to my stomach to thinking about it. We are going to talk about how it happens, the long term affects, and how get out of the "It's not my business" freeze.

How Does Sexual Assault on Children Occur?

    Child assault usually starts with the process called grooming: befriending and establishing an emotional connection with a child and sometimes the family, to lower the child's inhibitions with the objective of sexual abuse (wiki.org). We have to be more aware of this happening to children that are mentally and/or  disabled. They are even more at a higher risk of sexual abuse. 

Common tactics of grooming process

• giving child gifts, compliments, taking special places
• isolating the child 
• meeting the child's basic needs that aren't being met (food, shelter, safety)
• treating the child as if they are older than what they are

    There is never a reason for child abuse, but due to the fact that one in four girls and one six boys that are reported are being molested, we have to understand the behavioral ethics behind abusers choosing children as victims (ywca.org). And keep in mind these numbers may be alot higher due to the fact that many cases are going unreported. These monsters first of all know and fully understand what they are doing is wrong and unacceptable. They just convince themselves of delusional ideas to justify what they are doing is OK.

 Some of the reasons child predators do what they do is because:  

• The thrill out of making someone suffer and feel pain 
• Abuse are not able to mentally, physically and emotionally connect with their peers
• Wanting to feel like they have control or power over something in their lives
• To gain status with others
• Using them for monetary value like sex slaves/sex trafficking

(These following information may cause some discomfort and/or may provoke emotions that may cause flashbacks, extreme anger and/or sadness. Please take your time to process this information. The end goal to get a better understanding to produce a solution and, stop ignoring the problem.) You can not reason with these people. Even though they know what they are doing, they are mentally ill and there is no cure for it. They feel like the world owns them something they never got. It may arouse them to hear the child scream and be helpless because they want the child to feel like them. They like to look into their victims' eyes to see fear. For others, they may feel they are entitled to receiving sexual pleasure as if their needs are more important than that of the child; or they may even tell themselves that the child is enjoying the abuse. Before the abuse the child may be sedated/ drugged, threatened of physical harm to themselves or someone else they love, and/or not limited to manipulated into engaging in sexual acts. 

Lasting effects on child abuse

Sexual assault on children has a damaging long lasting effect; the younger and more frequent the abuse occurs the more destruction it causes. 

 Physical symptoms include "chronic and diffuse pain, especially abdominal or pelvic pain , and lower pain threshold " (acog.org). As the child gets older the individual may complain of constant physical pains that may or may not be physically there. They should be taken very seriously because even if there isn't something physical, there definitively is something emotionally or mentally wrong!

    Sexual abuse also causes children to grow up with an unhealthy attitude towards sex.  “Avoiding, fearing, or lacking interest in sex; approaching sex as an obligation; experiencing negative feelings such as anger, disgust, or guilt with touch; having difficulty becoming aroused or feeling sensation; feeling emotionally distant or not present during sex; experiencing intrusive or disturbing sexual thoughts and images; experiencing difficulty establishing or maintaining an intimate relationship" include, but not limited to some of the discomforts (Laimann,Pieal, and Rosen, 1999). 80% of people suffering from sexual addiction were sexually abused as a child including both men and women(recoveryranch.com).And I want to make clear that not all people that are abused turn into abusers, but majority of those who  sexually abuse children were abused as a child themselves.  

    There are many emotional and mental consequences to child sexual abuse. A couple of examples are age regression which "occurs when someone reverts to a younger state of mind" (healthline.com). Outside of hypnotherapy, a person may mentally go back to younger age to cope with stress that may remind them of the abuse they suffered. Other disorders include bipolar disorder, depression, developmental/ learning disorders, anxiety, and PTSD. It's also not uncommon for someone to experience suicidal thoughts, nightmares, and flashbacks.  

How we can do our part 

    Often times children that are sexually abused are vulnerable to continuously get abuse through out there lives whether that is sexual, physical, or emotional abuse. This is why it is SO important that the child gets help as soon as possible to avoid farther damage. When you either witness sexual assault, see symptoms, or a child tells you it has occurred, it's easy to shutdown and become in denial. However, you have to understand that this isn't the time to think about yourself. Can you imagine how the child is feeling? They are feeling guilty, sad, betrayed, confused, and many other emotions. They need you right now. 

    The best thing to do is get as much information from the child as much as possible. You have to remain calm and try to be nonchalant as possible. Let the child know that you aren't upset with them. Don't tell them that their abuser is going to get in any trouble. This person is probably close to them and so this will make them shutdown. But don't lie to them. You want the child to know that they can trust you and care you about them. Getting the child help is nonnegotiable and if you don't try to the best of your ability to get the child help you are just as bad as the abuser! You can call ChildHelp USA National Child Abuse Hotline at 1-800-4-A-CHILD or Call Darkness to Light Helpline at 1-866-FOR-LIGHT for resources  in your local community. https://thercc.org/get-support/supporting-loved-one/supporting-child-sexually-assaulted/  is another resource with a step by step process. Their phone number is (608) 251- 7273 this number will provide support for you and the child!

    And just in case you didn't know, if you know that a child is being abused by someone you know, it's your duty to sever the relationship with that person. Child abuse is nothing to take lightly. Predators only stop when they don't have a victim. Most of the time their crimes are premeditated. 

    Why is it easier for us to talk about sexual violence against women? It's not that it isn't important, but children are alot more vulnerable. Also we need to be more proactive than reactive. By fighting for children's rights we are creating a culture to prevents sexual abuse from happening to ANYBODY. We have to come together as a community because "the number of absconders or those who are not up to date with (sex offender) registration is (going) to increase because of the coronavirus" (npr.org). The law enforcement cannot keep up child predators because: one we aren't reporting them and two we aren't separating ourselves from predators.